Long overdue update, chock full of info

A lot has happened since I last posted so, as they say, let’s get into it.

I last shared about my arduous hair journey. Still bald on left side with lots of thinning on right. Regrowth may depend on new developments discussed below.

I’ll start with the good:

I finally saw Cabaret on Broadway with Shana. Man, that show really takes a turn in the second act!

Also saw Art on Broadway, which made me like James Corden whom I used to find super annoying?

I had a nice long weekend upstate with Peggy and Anna plus a very cuddly dog named Cooper (and we visited an alpaca farm!)

Jenn helped me throw a small soirée for my birthday with two of my besties coming from afar (Paula and KA and her other half, Josh). I tried to bask in the love of some of my amazing friends and family. Tis fun to watch your worlds come together! And to eat meat pies.

I saw a hilarious Off Broadway play called Ginger Twinsies, a spoof on the Parent Trap that had me laughing at a time when I really needed it.

I took my mom and sister to my church picnic and all my church friends welcomed us with hugs and cheesecake.

I watched my sister absolutely slay the NYC marathon, cheered alongside friends, tracked a bunch of runners on an app of dubious efficacy, and got overwhelmed by the joy that filled the NYC air. Could have done without the insane crowds on the subway- track work? On marathon weekend?

My liver function continues to improve as do my platelets.

Those are some pretty good highlights over the last six weeks or so. But lowlights, usually courtesy of cancer, snuck in.

I started a new med in September that is not terrible but causes hair thinning, hence why things are getting a bit sparse on top and regrowth post radiation may be hampered.

All these various meds and radiation cause incredible fatigue which has been difficult to manage. I also can’t seem to sleep at night which doesn’t help the fatigue.

One of my close college friends (my Blue Sister from my sorority days, a reference that I hope makes her smile) lost her sister last month and my heart continues to break for her and her family.

We acknowledged the 14th anniversary of losing my dad and boy, do I miss that man but especially when I’m hurting so badly.

I started having significant nerve pain in my legs again but my trusty pain team jumped in and got me some nerve blocks so that’s much better - lowlight turning into a highlight!

Last month’s brain MRI showed the radiated spot is shrinking quite nicely but one asshole, albeit a very small one, popped up. As did a growing tumor along my jaw. I’m scheduled for more brain follow ups in the coming weeks and feeling rather overwhelmed and scared by what may be the next steps in terms of radiation and medication.

I am proud of myself for being open and honest with people about my fears and the accompanying depression and anxiety. I mean, who wouldn’t be depressed with that list of lowlights? It may surprise you that despite this Substack where I share a lot, I still keep a lot of things to myself. Mostly the real scary stuff. But keeping it in is not serving me well and I’m lucky to have people who I can call and just ask them to listen while I cry. And even despite this support, and I have crazy amounts, I’m so lucky, I’ve been feeling very alone lately. Because no one can take this away. People can soothe me and comfort me and hold me but none of that lovely support changes where I am at.

I’m hoping my next update will have a shorter list of low lights. Spending time with and hearing from you all is always at the top of my highlights.